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Humanities article brought to you by Borat Sagidiev, Posted on: 2007-02-06   --><--

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If there's one thing that gets me miffed it's when ideas for a new story or article seem to dry up. So I came up with this technique that can spark ideas into life pretty quickly, and it's fun too! You simply think of a common phrase or colloquialism and do some quick, actually very quick, research using a good dictionary, encyclopedia, or possibly Wikipedia on the net. Any source to track down the origin of the phrase or the variations on the word. Take the word 'fire'. A fairly ordinary word, but applying this technique I soon came up with the following: Did you know that when Noah was doing his Row-Around-The-World-Athon the Ark sprang a leak? Noah, being an inventive spirit, told one of the dogs to stick it's nose in the hole. Unfortunately the dog's nose was too small to stop the leak. The dog, not having evolved into a bull mastiff as yet, retired chagrined. Noah had to think about this problem further so he sat down, and as it happened he sat over the hole in the Ark. This had the effect of well and truly stopping the leak, Noah being of rotund proportions. Using a rota system Noah and his three sons took it in turns to quell the inrushing waters and saved the Ark from sinking. This is why, dear friends, men stand with their backs to the fire and dogs have cold noses. You may or may not believe that, When it comes to writing your stories there is a lot you can do with the idea of fire, apart from standing with your back to it (well the blokes anyway, the ladies are far too sensible). You can be between two fires, there are those ego shrinking times when the fat is in one, you can be told to 'fire away!' when you're bursting to say something, an agonizing ordeal can cause you to pass through one, you can declare your undying passion by promising to go through one, usually with hell or water as added embellishments. Wise sages may point out that if you would enjoy the fire you must put up with the smoke. (The wise sages never having experienced a modern wood-burning stove.) In the same vein, some chatter over a garden fence may end with knowing nods and the observation that there is no smoke without one, if there really is mischief brewing those same knowing nods may warn that "there's more fire in the bedstraw, you mark my words", harking back, of course, to when straw was used in mattresses. Today we could say, "There's more allergies in the duck feather duvet..." Possibly. In other situations you can hang it, you can play with it, you can raise it, and more mundanely you can watch it. So the next time you're stuck for a story line, pick a common phrase such as "No smoke without fire" or "He set the place on fire" meaning his charismatic personality had all onlookers agog - not that he was an arsonist, naturally, although that's a possibility too - and work it up into a publisher pleasing item. Just open your mind and let your imagination run riot. Run riot. Now there's thought...

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